Me: I'm going to run myself a bath. Anyone who wants to use the bathroom, fetch a toy, clean their teeth, take a shower - whatever you want - please do it now so I can have some peace.
15 minutes later, I lock the door, climb into a steamy, bubbly bath with a happy groan....
Outside: Are you alright Mum?
Me: yes.....go away
Outside: do you need any help?
Me: no......go away
Outside: OK
Outside: hurt silence
Me: ....sigh.....
Outside: Mew?
Me: go away - you can drink out of your water bowl - you don't need to drink from my bath....
Outside: Meow?
Me: No....shoo
Outside: hurt washing sounds......
Me: ......sigh........
Outside: Do you want a cup of tea, my love?
Me: No thank you. Please go away
Outside: Are you cross with me?
Me: No, I am just trying to relax. Please go away and keep the boy away too.....
Outside: OK
Me: sigh
Outside: sure you don't want a glass of wine?
Me: no thanks
Outside: Shall I come and join you?
Me: not now, I am just having some me time
Outside: hurt silence
Me: ......sigh......
Outside: muffled yowling
Me: What now?
Outside: scuffle, scuffle.....MIAOWWWWWWW
Me: WHAT NOW? ...sloshing water as I peer over the side of the bath in time to see a damp, sucked and very bedraggled mouse slide under the door of the bathroom, followed by a reaching paw
Ouside: MIAAAAAOOOOOWWWWWW
Me: GO AWAY!!!! SOMEONE COME AND TAKE THE CATS AWAY PLEASE!!
Outside: various noises as cast & cats exits left
Me: ...sigh.....
Me: B*LL*CKS!!!
End of bath......sounds of water, bubbles and sanity going down the plughole...
Me: I'll have that glass of wine now.........
